Confession Time

When I returned to work after after my first child I was really looking forward to it. Getting to go out without my kid, dress pretty, put on some makeup. After a few months the novelty wore off. Just seemed like I had 2 full time jobs. After baby number 2 I didn't have to return because of our move to Saudi Arabia. Now after being home again I get the same itch.

Some mothers I speak with or read about on blogs talk about how great it is at home with the kids. They talk about all the activities they do, the crafts etc etc. I find it hard to fill an hour. My youngest isn't quite 2 yet and nothing holds her attention for more than 5 minutes. I do have to say one child was a lot easier. I thought if there was another they would entertain each other. NOT! They just fight with each other.

Today I drove by the condo my sister and I use to live in pre-marriage and babies. My son asked me what are we doing sitting here and I said "This is where Mommy use to live when she had a life".

What I wouldn't give to be able to sit and watch The Young & The Restless without little voices asking if it is over yet. Enjoy a hot coffee or meal. Ok I am not one of those moms who can make running the house, cooking, cleaning, and entertaining 2 kids seem effortless. I don't have that maternal instinct where I find joy in every little thing my kids do. All I see after finger painting is a huge friggin mess that I have to clean up.

I don't want a t-shirt that says "World's Greatest Mom".

Now that I have that out there I feel much better and can stop trying to be.